A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.

A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.