My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.

Old teachers never die, they just grade away.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.