My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"