My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.