My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!

Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.

He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.