Take my wife... Please!
Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"