You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.