When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"