I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.