My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.