My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.