A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"