My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!
If I had blood, I'd blush.
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.