The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!"

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.