I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"