The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"