The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.