The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?

This man dresses like an unmade bed.

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"