Take my wife... Please!
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.