My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.