Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.