Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.