A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!