A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?