A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

If I had blood, I'd blush.