I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.

Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.