When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!