A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.