Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."