Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.