A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!

She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"

We aim to please... You aim too, please.

I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?