A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.