Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.