My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

What is a home without children? Quiet.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"