His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.
A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"
Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.