"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.