I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.

My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.