A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.