A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

Take my wife... Please!

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?