A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

What is a home without children? Quiet.

I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.