The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.