Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

I live about four muggings from Central Park.

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.