Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

Old teachers never die, they just grade away.