Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."