If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.

I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"