A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"