If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.