Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.