Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.

College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.