A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement.
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.