I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.
I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.