A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!