Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.