Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"