Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
I've got two wonderful children - and two out of five isn't too bad.
Old teachers never die, they just grade away.