This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
This man dresses like an unmade bed.