I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.