If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.

Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.