I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.
Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.