Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.

The true definition of a perennial: Any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year.

Handicap: an allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.