Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Hole in One: an occurence in which a ball is hit directly from the tee into the hole in a single shot by a golfer playing alone.

If the wind is in your face, you swing too hard just to get the ball through it; if the wind is at your back, you swing too hard just to see how far you can get the ball to go.

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.

Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.

Advice to anglers: don't take advice from people with missing fingers.

Wear it if it clashes.