I've always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.

Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.

I am circumcised, and I tell you something, I despise it. I despise it. I despise it... I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

I'm a believer that satellite radio, whether I'm on it or not, will take off.