I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock.

I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.

I've never come into anything successful before. I've always been hired by horrible radio stations with horrendous reputations and nothing to lose.

Please, with the God talk. Hate to break it to you, but there is no God.

I will never feel successful.

I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.

Set about doing good to somebody. Put on your hat and go and visit the sick and poor of your neighborhood; inquire into their circumstances and minister to their wants. Seek out the desolate and afflicted and oppressed. . . I have often tried this method, and have always found it the best medicine for a heavy heart.