You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand there and do their bits; I break every rule in creation. If there's a rule that can be broken in stand-up, I'll do it.

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones - we made it. You all are winners. That's the first race you ever won.

True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.

That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn time.

I’m trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don’t know if there’s any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.