Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.

I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use.

Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.

I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.

Damn! This flight attendant treating us like we won these first class tickets in a contest.

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?