I tend not to trust people who live in very tidy houses. I know that on the surface there is nothing wrong with a person being well-ordered and disciplined. Nothing, except that it leaves the impression of that person having lived in the confines of a stark institution which, although he or she has long since left, remains within.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I'm laughing or smiling.

Make lots of money. Enjoy the work. Operate within the law. Choose any two of three

In my local newspaper, they had this advert: 'please look after your neighbours in the cold weather'. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, and do you know, not once has she come round to see if I'm all right. The lazy cow hasn't even taken her milk in for a fortnight.

I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them.

Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.