I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.
Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.
A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent.
The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.