Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

I knew that nobody could be on television week after week as themselves and exist for any length of time, because no one has that rich a personality.... So I knew that I had to create some characters.

The worst thing you can do with money is save it.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.