Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.

I knew that nobody could be on television week after week as themselves and exist for any length of time, because no one has that rich a personality.... So I knew that I had to create some characters.