It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way.
Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.
Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged.
Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.
I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.