If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

I always knew what I was doing.

It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way.

Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.

I knew that nobody could be on television week after week as themselves and exist for any length of time, because no one has that rich a personality.... So I knew that I had to create some characters.