Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.

I knew that nobody could be on television week after week as themselves and exist for any length of time, because no one has that rich a personality.... So I knew that I had to create some characters.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

The worst thing you can do with money is save it.

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.