I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.

I always knew what I was doing.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.