I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.

I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world!