I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.
I knew that nobody could be on television week after week as themselves and exist for any length of time, because no one has that rich a personality.... So I knew that I had to create some characters.
One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!
The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.
Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged.