I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.

Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.

Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.