I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.