My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Everybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

Prostitutes go to jail. Their customers go home and read the New York Times. In this country you're allowed to buy anything. If you need a shirt, you have a right to buy it. If you need sex, you don't. What's more important, sex or a shirt?