The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

The Clintons represent the highest level of corruption, but no one has the courage to mention it. Instead they talk about Rudy Giuliani. Over a lifetime of excellent service, there's never been a hint of corruption in his behavior but everybody investigates him.

I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!

I was so self -conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.

Jews are the best dressers in the world. They buy the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars. The best of everything. The only thing is, they get it for less.

I've got a friend who is half-Jewish and half-Italian. If he can't buy it wholesale, he steals it!