The last thing we need is another Clinton to be our President. Believe me, one lowlife was enough. We don't need the lowlife's partner.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

Comparing what the Democrats offer to what the Republicans offer is like comparing the money I have in my pocket to what Bill Gates has in his.

Truthfully, with the Republicans, I don't see that much wrong with them.

Jews are the best dressers in the world. They buy the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars. The best of everything. The only thing is, they get it for less.

While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.